Insights Archives

Rise

rise katy perryThanks to my website I meet people on a daily basis who are struggling. Most of these people write to me saying they feel they have no way out, they are stuck, and all they see is darkness in their lives.

If you are one who are currently feeling the same way, then please do not hesitate to reach out. Feel free to contact me. Your first step is to reach out, to talk out your troubles, to have someone who can listen and hear your cries.

Once you voice your thoughts, you will start feeling a little bit better. Then you need to learn what to do to rise from that spot of darkness.

The most important thing when trying to rise is to believe in yourself. Believe that you can do it. Believe that you are strong enough.

Years ago I have been in a similar situation. I felt I had no way out. There was no hope for me. I felt it would be best for everyone if I just let go and left this world. I remember clearly those weeks of darkness. They seem neverending, breathless, deperation with no end. The only thing that kept me on my feet was my belief that everything happens for a reason. I knew that without doubt. And it was thanks to that phrase that I had been working on for prior years that I managed to rise.

So to you reading this post today, if you are in a similar dark phase, please do not let go. Hold on. Believe in you, you have all the strength that you need in order to rise again.

Start by asking for help. Go to people who you know will support you whatever phase you are in. Go to people who believe in you.

If you feel the need for some healing, I also do suggest you to have a session of Distance Healing, which can help boost you up to feel better. No matter where you are in the world, distance healing can help you with whatever issue you may have. It will uplift you.

Finally, believe in yourself. Believe in your strength. Believe that you can do it, because you really can.

Sending you much love to help you through <3

Leaving you with this song, which I’m sure will help you feel a bit better…

 

Signs of Emotional Abuse

signs of emotional abuseIf you have found your way to this article, then most probably you are going through some form of relationship abuse. Signs of emotional abuse are easy to spot. It is also good to note that emotional abuse can happen by a spouse, a husband/wife, a sibling, a parent…every type of relationship can possibly show signs of emotional abuse.

Here you will find a list of the most common signs of emotional abuse that can happen in different types of relationships:

  • Jealousy – “Are you meeting someone else?” “Did you meet someone when outside?” “Why are you so nicely dressed up?” Such questions are usually signs of jealousy. You may be constantly made to think that you are doing wrong by being presentable, or you have to phone him/her before you go out and after, so your whereabouts are controlled all the time.
  • Possessiveness – “You have to answer every time I call you…why didn’t you answer?” You are made to feel that you have to answer to him/her all the time. You feel as if you are possessed by the person who should love you. You feel restricted, controlled.
  • Bad Tempers – You are made to feel as if you are the reason you fight. It is as if you cause him/her to get angry with you due to what you do.
  • Verbal Abuse – You are called names, accused of being a whore, of having affairs, of meeting other men/women behind his/her back, even if it is because you took a bit more time than usual shopping for groceries.
  • Controlling Behaviour – You may be checked from head to toe to control what you’re wearing when you go out. Yes, even underwear colour. Or take pictures and send them so you can verify your whereabouts.
  • Controlling Work / School – You may be asked to stop going to school/work. This does not mean you’re just told to do so. Most times going to work/school will result in unlimited phonecalls, which will cause you to be fired from school/work, big arguments when you’re back home, which will make it unworthy for you to endure after a day’s work/lectures.
  • Financial Control – You may be controlled financially. Either asked to hand in all your allowances gained through work, or else given only a small amount and required to do all shopping from it. Obviously this amount is usually not enough and once again you are blamed for spending too much money.
  • Demeaning – You are constantly made to feel as if you are nothing. You are unworthy, you are unlovable, you are fat…list is endless. This can be done either privately or also in public.

If you are enduring any of these signs of emotional abuse, then first step is to admit that you are in an abusive relationship. Whoever the abuser is, be it a spouse, a friend, a partner, a parent…nobody should be treated the way that you are being treated!

Seek help, seek people you fully trust. Make a plan. You shouldn’t go through abuse, even if you have children. You may think that for your children’s sake you shouldn’t leave…well your children are an extra reason to leave. Look at them, do you want them to grow up feeling they should endure abuse as well because its the way to go? Of course not! Take a stand. Your life counts.

If you don’t know from where to start, I have compiled an ebook just for you, that will guide you towards making a stand and stopping the abuse once and for all. Check out Heal Your Life Forever ebook and learn how you too can make your voice heard and stop the abuse once and for all.

Blessings to you, my friend, and remember, you ARE worthy of love <3

signs of emotional abuse

Listen To Your Heart

A wise friend of mine lately has told me this:

“Try to separate the mind from the heart…listen always to your heart, it will show you the way forward”

When things get tough and problems present themselves unexpectedly, it is very easy to lose yourself, to feel as if you barely even recognise yourself any more. This is what has happened to me during the past months.

Thankfully my friend reminded me that the answer is to listen to my heart. The heart is the voice of the soul…it knows the way to the highest good of all.

And so here I am again, after an absence of almost a year. Writing this short post today makes me feel myself again.

To you reading this, if you are at crossroads, not sure where you want to go, or whether you know what you want from your life…

Listen to your heart. Let it be your guidance. Do not let society conform you into a different person than the one you truly are on the inside. Be who you are, let your light shine from within you. Be yourself <3listen to your heart

 

jeanesse abelaJeanesse Abela, a remarkable and very wise 39 year old young woman, was born prematurely at 7 months in 1976. Her mother didn’t know she was expecting twins at that time. Jeanesse spent her first three months fighting for her life along with her twin sister, until she got better and was allowed to be taken home.

Everything was going fine until her mother noticed that Jeanesse was different from her twin sister at five months, where her sister could sit down but she could not. Her mother took her to specialists who diagnosed Jeanesse with Celebral Palsy (Athiod type). For Jeanesse this condition meant abnormal movements, stiff muscles and lack of coordination. At this point Jeanesse was referred for physiotherapy to help ease her muscles and improve physically, something she is still doing now. She was also referred to speech therapy to help with speaking clearly and communication, as well as occupational therapy, hydrotherapy to relax her muscles, and also referred for hearing tests due to long distance hearing problems due to the same condition.

At age three first improvements began to show up, as Jeanesse started to attend a special school and with the help of her kindergarten assistants she started sitting down on her own, crawling and doing basic things like playing and interacting with her surroundings. At four years old she also started to say her first words. But the best realisation was at age 6 when her teachers noticed that Jeanesse was ready to join normal children her age! She was immediately accepted both by the new school’s headmistress as well as her classmates. Jeanesse did great at school and gained good results in examinations too. She also took part in the school’s extracurricular activities such as concerts, excursions…

Jeanesse’s mother played a very important role in her success, helping her in schoolwork, homework, and always encouraged her to do what she wished to do, helping her along the way to become independent. Unfortunately her mum passed away 16 years ago, but her dad was still there for her, also doing his best to keep her happy and playing an important role in fighting for her rights while she was still young, but also up till today. Her two siblings also helped Jeanesse whenever she needed. Support in her family was amazing.

jeanesse abelaJeanesse was active in the Girl Guides for 4 years. She attended campings, marched in parades and played roles at school concerts, and was awarded school prizes along the way.

Jeanesse has had some moments of disappointment too, such as losing loved ones, but especially moments where she wasn’t given a chance to do things she knew she was capable of. Her secondary school years proved to bring some more disappointments too since there were times she was bullied by classmates, being ignored by certain school teachers and also other problems as such. However nothing disheartened Jeanesse. In fact she started to understand life more, the more she grew up. She did a lot of things like her own friends did, but she also started to see there were things which had to be different for her.

Success came for Jeanesse when she studied really hard for her O Level exams, without attending any private lessons, yet she passed from 7 subjects with the help of her facilitator at school. She was so happy and proud of her achievements and so were her parents!

After a year out of school, Jeanesse found a job as a clerk with GO. She faced problems at first because there were colleagues who limited Jeanesse with work, thinking she was not capable of doing it all, but Jeanesse proved them wrong. She showed them that having a disability did not limit her capabilities. She has been at this job for over 20 years now and is very happy. She attended courses related to her job, and also managed to pass her ECDL exams too.After her mum passed away, Jeanesse realised that life goes on. She continued to prove to those around her that she wasn’t letting life stopping her from going for what she wanted to do. In fact she went for holidays abroad with family and friends, live-in weekends, concerts, Lourdes, weekends at Dar il-Kaptan, Gozo and much more. She even had the opportunity of doing wall climbing.
Eleven years ago she had a slip disc on her neck which damaged her spinal cord and she stopped walking. She had an operation and spent six weeks at hospital for rehabilitation. She is still on recovery but she keeps on fighting to get her life back.

Some of her best memories up till now were when her sister gave birth to a beautiful boy, who she loves very much. And there was also the moment when her favourite team Juventus came to Malta and she met the players. She flew a Microlight Jet, did tree climbing, water skiing and abseiling.

Jeanesse AbelaOne of the most remarkable things that Jeanesse did was starting a group together with an old school friend, a group with the name LAND: Living Ability Not Disability. This is a nationally recognised NGO since July 2005. Its main aim is to promote inclusion, assistance, education and socialisation for Maltese youths with a physical disability. LAND encourages people to be aware that people with physical disability are like any other person, having the same energy, same ideals, same feelings and eagerness to have fun, to work and to help each other when needed. They want to make government and public and private companies aware of issues that affect persons with disability, such as discrimination, accessibility, work, housing, personal assistants etc.
In order for LAND to continue organising activities, they need financial backing to cover ongoing essential expenses such as transportation costs, hiring of vehicles with tail-lifter, newsletter, communication and participation in local and foreign conferences and seminars, and much more.Although Jeanesse resigned from the committee for personal reasons, she is still actively helping out in a way or another, as this was and always will be ‘her baby’.

Jeanesse still has a lot of aspirations for life, which include traveling, seeing a live popular band overseas, having her own flat and maybe a family of her own.Jeanesse wants the people to understand that one shouldn’t act as if they do not know how to cope with a person with disability as soon as they see one. Having a disability doesn’t mean the person has no heart to love and to feel. Society needs to accept this fact and act more inclusive.

“First see the person, then the disability”, says Jeanesse, and rightfully so!

Thank you Jeanesse for sharing your story with the world!

If you would like to support Jeanesse’s LAND you can send a donation directly as a cheque payable to Living Ability Not Disability. Send your donation at:

Jeanesse Abela LAND Group

Land Group c/o St Anthony No 2,

E.H. Furse,

Msida

Morning After Pill in Malta

morning after pill maltaMorning After Pill in Malta is currently causing a debate. Some say it is a non-abortifacient pill which can be taken without any bad consequences while others are saying that this pill does in fact have an abortifacient effect. What are the facts? Let’s go through the details and see what this Morning-After pill is and what it does.

The Morning-After pill works in three different ways:

  1. If taken before ovulation occurs, it delays ovulation by stopping the release of an egg from the ovary
  2. It prevents fertilisation of the egg
  3. It stops an already formed embryo from implanting into the wall of the uterus

With the first option, no fertilisation occurs, so there are no abortifacient effects there. With the second option, fertilisation is also stopped, so once again no abortifacient effects there.

However, with the third option, an already formed and living embryo is discarded as the morning-after pill makes changes into the wall of the uterus to stop the living embryo from implanting there, and so the pregnancy is terminated there.

Science has proven that life starts at conception (when sperm meets the ovum), and not when implantation occurs. And so, when the Morning-After pill stops the living embryo from attaching to the wall of the uterus, a new life is discarded.

So as conclusion, by accepting the morning after pill in Malta, we would be paving the way towards introducing abortion due to this pill’s abortifacient effect.

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